9/11 Monologue

7:26 PM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)

This is a monologue from Co-Op Theatre East's workshop of What to Do In Case You Miss the Rapture, last May. 


Too Old for Fairy Tales
By Ashley Marinaccio

I’ll never forget the image of those people jumping from Tower 1 – the falling man, the couple that held hands as they made their final descent. I was 11 and went to school five blocks north of the towers. During the evacuation the lunch lady covered by eyes – but even from a mile north – I swore I saw my parents falling. I yelled “That’s Daddy!” and started running toward the burning towers.  Everything went blurry and I thought of Ms. Stocky, my Sunday school teacher – who told me all the Rapture at Sunday school only two days before.  I swore this was it – those people jumping were on their way to being raptured. I broke away from the rest of the shaken sobbing sixth graders and prayed “Now! Jesus! Now! Rapture them now so they won’t hit the ground and die.”

This was it. I was experiencing The Rapture because a truly loving God would have never let all those innocent people hit the ground.

Ms. Luck grabbed me by the wrist covered my face with her hand and yelled “Don’t look back”. “But Ms. Luck, I have to” I cried, “If I don’t look now, I may miss mum and dad being raptured. They’ve been waiting for this moment their entire lives.” I had never seen anyone turn so pale. At the time I thought it was because we had just run from Chambers to Canal street in under ten minutes, and that kind of workout would turn anyone pale.  Maybe this wasn’t the Rapture after all. Maybe it was Sodom and Gomorrah and if I look back, I will turn to salt.  

My parents were obliterated in the towers. Dad worked in Tower 1 and mum worked in Tower 2. When I imagine their last moments it involves a surprise trip that lead to Dad being in Tower 2 bringing my mother roses as an early gift for their anniversary. After 20 years of marriage, I imagined them grabbing hands and running to the window of 104 to spend eternity together. By eternity – I don’t mean to suggest that my parents jumped. No, Jesus grabbed them. He raptured them up. While we watched all those people falling, my parents were part of the lucky few that were spared the jet fuel, the fire, the heat, and the collapse. They were taken up… in the rapture that happened on September 11th, 2001.

For years my sister I would visit ground zero to see the lights. I dreamt of being sucked up into them – like a vacuum, and taken up through the clouds to see my parents. I imagined the lights were a vortex that could teleport me…. No, wait, rapture me up to where mum and dad were waiting. The lights were the gateway, and if I didn’t get inside them, I’d have to wait an entire year for my next chance.

In 2004, workers recovered a piece of femur which DNA tests later connected to my father. It was found amongst dust and stone on the roof of the Duetshe Bank building a few blocks south. For my family, this 3 ounce piece of bone provided the closure that they need to move on. For me, it opened the office door to various psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers and an extended stay at Bellevue after the NYPD pulled me off a ledge.

To this day my mother is listed officially as “missing”. On those days where the pills don’t have complete control I imagine her in a business suit and fancy shoes, being raptured up out of tower 2 before anything could happen. I can see her face and how excited she must have been, knowing that she was finally going to see Jesus. I think about how happy she would feel that her husband was with her, by her side always. I dream that one day all of us will be together again.  

But the pills are there to remind me that I’m too old to believe in fairy tales. 

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8:00 PM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)

"Actors are some of the most driven, courageous people on the face of the earth. They deal with more day-to-day rejection in one year than most people do in a lifetime. Every day, actors face the financial challenge of living a freelance lifestyle, the disrespect of people who think they should get "real" jobs, and their own fear that they'll never work again. Every day, they have to ignore the possibility that the vision they have dedicated their lives to is a pipe dream. With every role, they stretch themselves, emotionally and physically, risking criticism and judgment. With every passing year, many of them watch as the other people their age achieve the predictable milestones of normal life-the car, the family, the house, the nest egg.

But they stay true to their dream, in spite of the sacrifices. Why?

Because actors are willing to give their entire lives to a moment-to that line, that laugh, that gesture, or that interpretation that will stir the audience's soul. Actors are beings who have tasted life's nectar in that crystal moment when they poured out their creative spirit and touched another's heart. In that instant, they were as close to magic, God, and perfection as anyone could ever be. And in their own hearts, they know that to dedicate oneself to that moment is worth a thousand lifetimes." 

~David Ackert

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Why Children's Theater Matters...

9:26 AM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)


Great article.


Building the all inclusive movement (and theatre company)

11:50 AM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)

As we continue to grow and gain more visibility, here's what's been on my mind the last week and I have no answer for what needs to be done so I want to throw it out to the artists out there.

PGPC (and COTE) receive tons of submissions from artists of all types, anywhere from visual artists and photographers to directors, musicians, filmmakers, etc. I believe there is a place for everyone in the movement we're trying to build but because of the large volume of submissions we get and how stretched thin the companies are, it's often impossible to utilize everyones talents and skills in the way they want to be utilized (isn't this the age old problem?). We LOVE meeting new people and continue striving to build our community of like minded artists. We are always in need of people who want to help with data entry, social media, outreach, administrative and organizational work but have a harder time finding a place for those who only want to do the creative stuff. Lately, I've been bringing artists in for meetings, "getting to know you" type things (because that's the least I can do) and have been finishing meetings with "where do you see yourself fitting in to this company and the work we do?", "How do you propose we move forward?" Often times we wait until the right opportunity comes up to ask them to work with us, which could be months. However, I would love to come up with something that engages everybody right away if they have the burning desire to work with us.

So, my question(s):

- How do we continue to move forward utilizing everyones talents to their fullest immediately so that artists feel included, welcomed and part of a community?

- What are sustainable models for this?

Interested in hearing ideas.

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Opening Night of Lady Macbeth

11:47 AM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)

Still Needed:

- Eye Lashes
- Large Hair Pins
- Tan Character Shoes

Happy Opening to Macbeth at ATA!

Photos on the way.

Double Down Productions presents:

By William Shakespeare
Directed and Produced by Tony White

Ian Richard Barnes
Jacqueline Chambers
Jennifer Desmarais
Lawrence Frank
John Freeman
Laura Grayson
Will Harmon
Yan Kirichenko
Sam Lopresti
Ashley Marinaccio
David Nash
Bradley J Sumner
Tony Travostino
Dylan Digel

Shakespeare's classic tale of prophecy, murder, and madness comes alive again in New York City

The Beckman at the American Theater of Actors
314 W 54 St, 2nd Floor

Wednesday, January 11 8 PM
Thursday, January 12 8 PM
Friday January 13 8 PM
Saturday, January 14 8 PM
Sunday, January 15 2 PM

Tickets $18

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2011 Resolution Tally

10:31 AM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)

Bold means it’s complete

Orange means I no longer care or want it

Blue means it’s started and in process

Purple means it just didn’t happen


listen more/see more/write more

continue to watch COTE take on a life of its own and flourish

continue to watch PGPC take on a life of its own and flourish

get smart(er) about finances

start learning an instrument (piano and guitar)

exhibit photography

read the classics

read more fiction

read EVEN more nonfiction

voice lessons

book Law and Order: SVU

do an arts and theatre rehabilitation program with incarcerated people

create work that encourages thoughtful dialogue

get back in touch with good friends from yonder years

rid myself of unhealthy and dead relationships

create my own "1000 places to see before you die"- blog it

finish a collection of short plays

once and for all - do something with this blog

work off broadway and regionally

stop being afraid to ask for more $$$

attempt to see all of the work and shows my friends are doing

workshop new pieces

study psychoanalysis

finish all my sentences

challenge myself

associate with people who challenge me

work with the Culture Project

finish reading all of the books in my current library

host a "dinner party" (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Dinner_Party)

do my part to see more women empowered and more positively represented in the theatre world

have a vegetable garden

study Arabic and Italian

be more present

post 1 blog entry per week

Stop cussing... use more colorful vocabulary (though the occasional "fuck" is totally fine)

find and join political group that's actually doing something - be active

work on my relationship with food and my body

assign specific times in the day to do e-mail and phone business so it doesn't take over my life

be more physically active

let her go

let them go

lose iphone addiction

be more present

learn about astronomy

learn about astrology and what the hell "birth signs" actually mean

travel to 3 new places I've never been before

and the longer reaching stuff:

own a feminist-progressive book store and cupcake shop

direct and-or write a play that starts a revolution (or at least a riot)

get a cedar tree tattoo

run a groundbreaking cultural organization

have an art or photography installation at a gallery or museum

visit the "1000 places to see before you die" (according to the 2007 edition of the book...apparently there is a new edition every few years)

grow my hair super long and then shave it all off and allow it to grow back in its natural color without ever dying it again

foster cats

adopt a child

be part of the movement that ends violence against women

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Quote of the Day

8:39 PM / Posted by Ashley / comments (0)

"We're dead as a species if we don't tell stories, because then we don't know who we are." - Alan Rickman

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