The House of Ash

A Sign that I may need a Vacation in the Near Future:

Today someone jokingly asked me how my "kids" were doing. I thought they were referring to my theatre companies (and maybe they were) so I went into a 10 minute speech about my son (Co-Op Theatre East) and daughter (Project Girl Performance Collective).

I'm fascinated by "theatre people" that hate theatre. No really, I am.

What I mean... A friend of one of my creative partners was making his Broadway debut and we were hooked up with free tickets for one of his first previews. Generally these previews are packed with fellow "theatre people"... producers, directors, actors, playwrights, designers, marketing, etc... Often times, the discussions before and after the show with audience members are just as interesting as the play itself.

That night I got into a conversation with a typical 20-something director sitting near me that went something like this: "I heard great things about this playwright and show. I'm very excited..." I said and spoke a bit about the playwright, the development of the work and how exciting it was that it was his Broadway debut and how the play had evolved.

"Oh. I'll believe it when I see it..." He responded in a typical smug mid 20-something director way and went on to acknowledge how he has absolutely hated everything he has seen this season, hasn't been blown away by the theatre in years and can't fathom why half the shows in NY are a waste of time, the actors suck, the playwrights suck and the directors suck even more etc. etc. etc.

When he finished I stared at him for a moment. Of course, this is nothing out of the ordinary. I have several friends like this. There are many people like this in the theatre community (and even more in academia). In fact, with his big fro, hipster glasses and blue button down, he reminded me of a graduate student.

When conversations like these go down generally I smile, nod and go back to reading my program but this time I said "Wow. That's really sad."

"What do you mean?"

"It must be really sad to be an artist and so uninspired by other people's work."

"Uh...um..."

"I mean, how do you grapple with that? How do you stay inspired? "

The lights went down and he jetted after the show so I didn't have a chance to hear his response but it really brought this issue to light, yet again. There is a fine line between being an intelligent critic and an insecure asshole. Often when reading reviews you can tell who writes with a passion for theatre and who writes as a failed artist who takes their rage out on others who are putting themselves out there.

So, this is my ode (or perhaps just a public acknowledgement) to the "theatre people" that hate theatre. We all know these types. They are our friends, colleagues, teachers and former classmates. Mostly they are artists (or former artists) who at some point couldn't handle the rejection any longer (and who can blame them really?) They are the ones who go to shows wanting it to flop, perhaps to make themselves feel better about their own failures or because they genuinely get a thrill from watching others suffer.

I feel bad for these folks.

is all of the facebook wall well wishes.

My OCD, list making and workaholic nature go in hyper mode this time of year... New Year, Birthday etc...

As we approach the end of 2010, I like to take a look at my 2010 resolutions and see what was NOT done. I've managed to cross out the things I accomplished this year and revisit some of the others for 2011. Of course, many of these things cannot be done by one person alone and are parts of a larger goal for which my work (and activists fighting for peace, equality and justice) must address. As for the things I didn't get to (doing SOMETHING with this blog) well, it will happen in 2011.

Lose 20 pounds; See Co-Op Theatre East grow and flourish; See more shows that my friends are in or part of; Be more assertive in relationships and financially; Dance; Stop allowing distorted views and expectations of "femininity" dictate the way I see myself; Write; See GirlPower take on a life of its own; Visit a new museum each month; Make theatre that changes and inspires people; Create work that encourages thoughtful dialogue; See all of my friends/colleagues achieve their dreams; Be present; Perfect my Arabic; Stay inspired; See more women directors and playwrights represented in the commerical theatre world; Be more diligent about responding to e-mails in a timely manner; Finish "What to do in case you miss the Rapture"; Spend more time out doors; Learn how to love my body and stop criticizing it; Shoot more photos;Do something with my blog; Read the books I haven't read on my bookshelf; Start research project on young competitive dancers; Visit places that I've never been; Stop cursing... use more colorful vocabulary; Get rid of clutter; Post one tweet a day for COTE (@cooptheatreeast); Perfect what sometimes feels like lackluster listening skills; More funding for the arts and small theatre companies; End Violence Against Women; More action/Less talk all around.

The "body" stuff is interesting to reflect back on because while I haven't lost 20 pounds, I am working on a much healthier mental approach to body image issues. I still have a ways to go. Hopefully I can continue to adopt healthier eating habits in 2011 and beyond.

...and while we're at it, let's take a look at random life aspirations from 2009. (http://ashley-marinaccio.blogspot.com/2008/06/random-life-aspirations.html). 95% which I hope to still do. Gotta make a few of these things happen in 2011, starting with finishing all those books on my shelf. =) Perhaps, I will end the year getting rid of the clutter.

Mom - Oh yeah, I have an autographed copy of Abbie Hoffman's book, Steal this Book...

Ashley- Wait. WHA? How?

Mom - I went to his book signing up near Columbia, right before the big anti-war march in DC

Ashley- Why didn't you tell me any of this?

Mom- You never asked

Ashley - Ma, you were so cool...

I've managed to compile a few of my favorite photos from 2010. The good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly. I uploaded an entire album to facebook.

God, I love Halloween! God, I love Dr. House (and Hugh Laurie at that!) What a perfect opportunity to put two of these great things together, eh? So... without further hesitation I present my fabulous Dr. Gregory House Halloween Costume of 2010.

There's House...

And there's me...

And yes, I met a ton of House fans (and non fans) who totally knew who I was and got appreciated it. Happy Halloween!!!!

Some highlights from this past month's theatrical activities:

COTE Tales. Co-Op Theatre East's new play reading series.

Trojan Women dramaturgy rehearsal.

Reading of my play "Documentary: A Suicide Narrative" at the Brecht Forum

Co-Op Theatre East Ensemble Photo Shoot

Encore performance of "GirlPower: Survival of the Fittest" at the Estrogenius Festival

(Above and Below) Scenes from Radio COTE, new socio-political radio plays

I’m a creator of excessive lists. At the beginning of the summer, when I made the commitment to pursue the business of acting (I never actually stopped performing, I just wasn’t actively in the pursuit of acting work) I plotted my return plan of action carefully in a list that now looks somewhat like this:

June:

Research Acting Classes

Start Diet and Exercise Routine

Pick 3 Killer Monologues

July:

Narrow Down Acting Classes

Start Researching Headshot Photographers

Make schedule at the beginning of the week that includes dance class (don’t skip it!)

August:

Audition/Sign Up for Acting Classes

Narrow down Headshot Photographers

Submit for every role I’m right for

Audition, Audition, Audition

I keep my lists. I cross tasks off as I finish them and then I file them neatly, if they aren’t already in one of the notebooks I’d never be caught dead without. I’m also an excessive note taker. I write everything down from general observations of people I see in the streets and favorite quotes to ideas for new plays. If there are no words to express it, I draw pictures or take photography. My notebooks end up looking like that of a mad scientist or artist, which I guess we theatre types are both.

I often have to remind myself that this business is a marathon, not a sprint. There’s always so much work to be done at all times and I am the type who will happily forego a night out with friends to finish the tasks on a list. (Have you read Emily Kinney’s blog entry on Back Stage Unscripted http://backstage.blogs.com/unscripted/2010/09/what-its-like-to-be-a-flake.html, “What It’s Like To Be a Flake”… I identify) I don’t think of it as flakey though (I’m probably in denial)… rather, I tell myself I’m a recluse by choice. Though recently I’ve written this proverb on the top of my white board “All work and no play makes Jack a boring boy”. Next month’s list looks a bit like this:

October:

Find the Balance

A special friend of mine in Seattle reminded me on September 10th that it's been 17 years since The X-Files debuted on television in 1993. Here's to one of my favorite shows ever and to the two constants in my life ... theatre and The X-Files.

No, not this Oz...


This one.

I suppose I'm jumping on this band wagon a little late... 7 years late to be exact. However, I'm absolutely undone by this show and will most likely be writing a few more blogs about it before my obscure little summer obsession runs its course.

I'm in the middle of watching the series via dvd (currently at the beginning of season 4). It's hands down one of the best episodic drama series that I've ever seen. I will have more comments as soon as I'm through the entire series as there's A TON to say, about the writing, performances and the issues it raises. I think the storytelling is superior and am personally interested in how the structure (narrative/narration) affects the way the audience understands the various issues that it raises about the prison/legal system, gender, race and class. It's a structure I've seen done both successfully (and not so successfully) in theatre and something I would like to work with a bit more in my own work, though adapting the structure of Oz to the theatre could end up creating a very pretentious/didactic theatre piece. Though on the flip side, it's incredibly Brechtian, which I think is another reason why I'm so captivated. I haven't had the chance to read any criticism/discussions on the series (I'm holding off until I'm done in a sad attempt to not spoil the ending) but I imagine all of these points have been raised.

Oz successfully puts a face onto statistics, the rather large and insane US prison incarceration statistics. Not only do we get to know, attempt to understand and empathize with the characters but Tom Fontana (the writer) skillfully weaves in larger humanitarian/ethical themes and statistics through narration by a character named Augustus Hill (played by Harold Perrineau) who breaks the 4th wall and addresses the viewers.

With facebook, twitter and the other social networking sites that dominate our lives and the way we watch television, I wish this show was still on the air not only for the crazy comments everyone would be posting at the end of each episode, but to get a sense first hand of the way that people are interpreting the ethical issues jam packed into every episode. Does it make people want to take action? How does one view the prison system after watching this series? How does the structure affect the way the information and storytelling is coming through? I may be digging deep but I'm hooked (and for good reason...). I would love to hear the dialogue on this one.

And one final thought for tonight ... How the heck does Simon Adebesi keep that hat on?

(Simon Adebesi [played by Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje] and his infamous hat)

Some things are so good they need to be repeated...

"You mean to tell me we've got over 250 channels and not one of them is playing Law and Order:SVU right now!? Who do I call to complain about this?"

‎"I'd really love to see that show about the cats..."
"You mean CATS?"
"Yeah, Cats!"
"Well dad, you're about 20 years too late..."

"There should be a channel that just plays Law and Order: SVU in loop."
"There is, it's called the USA network... and tonight they're failing us."

Ah, the joys of CSPAN...

I got hooked on CSPAN this past week and the Elena Kagan Supreme Court confirmation hearing. It was a chance to see how the US judicial branch works and I hope that if/when Kagan gets on the court, she continues to argue for cameras in the court room. It would provide a fantastic opportunity for the American people to see hows things are done and talk about the decisions and issues that are argued behind closed doors. Elena Kagan is incredibly intelligent, tough and an inspiration for women everywhere.

Finally had some time today just to chill out. I worked in the garden for a bit (it's looking great... pictures soon!) and finished these collages that have been sitting around for awhile. It was fabulous to finally have the chance to finish these up. My next adventure will be figuring out a way to hang them up (they're kind of heavy).